Strange dreams

Had the most unfathomable dream last night: Dreamed that, somehow, someway, my ex-husband and I were thrust back together. Forgetting for the moment that he wouldn’t like the present model Christy and forgetting about  his re-married state,  it was a strange and surreal experience. Everything I loved, he vocally hated and dismissed. He scowled and knitted his brow, not in understanding but in puzzlement and with the underlying conviction / message that I should be less puzzling to him and more mailable. He seemed to take pleasure in joy-squashing punishment, not for the punishment itself, but for the promise of its end when I would finally comply. I looked on, at all of the joy potential that he was missing out on with his need to change , control and punish. Somewhere down deep, below it all, was an old love — something that still ran, but had gone underground, out of sight. It was nothing that could be enjoyed on a summer day, from its banks or splashing in its flow. Dust rose with squealing tires. Eyes opened. It was just a dream.

-Christy

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