What Would Jesu$ Buy? SSP?

Oh, baby. Morgan Spurlock, the gutsy filmmaker who birthed ”Super Size Me,” has channeled Michael Moore in “What Would Jesus Buy,” a brilliant 2007 documentary about Americans turned consumers — and held captive there with a copious mix of credit, advertising, guilt and shopping-as-religious expression — especially at Christma$. It’s a Netflix must-have.

Meanwhile, just a friendly reminder, there are only 138 shopping days until Christmas. Unless, of course, you’re an E.W. Scripps, SSP, shareholder. Then it comes on Sept. 10, according to a press statement issued Thursday, which reads, in part:

“The board of directors, which includes five new members who were elected at the June 13 shareholder meeting, established the current dividend consistent with the previously stated objective of returning approximately 50 percent of the company’s expected free cash flow to shareholders in the form of dividends.”

Sept. 10 is when E.W. Scripps, which owns the Record Searchlight, will issue a 15-cent dividend on 54 million shares of stock. That pencils out to some $8 million in dividends — and if I understand the above quote, the corporation had some $16 million in free cash flow. Not a bad ROI for the quarter. Meanwhile, have I mentioned my $28,000-a-year reporter wages from 2007 and the $324-a-week California SDI salary that I’m currently surviving on (and paying my medical bills with) following workplace sexual harassment?

Check out the “What Would Jesus Buy” trailer (and Rev. Billy on Starbucks coffeehouse closures below it) and Spurlock’s Web site. Site: http://wwjbmovie.com/

“What Would Jesus Buy” trailer.

The Rev. Billy on Fox re: Starbucks coffeehouse closures.